


The Price of Immortality

by the_Pizzaman666



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Dead Dean Winchester, Dead Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester in Denial, Death from Old Age, Family Loss, Grief/Mourning, Honorary Winchester, Hunters & Hunting, Immortal Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Old Dean Winchester, Sad, Sad Dean Winchester, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Young Castiel (Supernatural), did I mention sad?, how is that not a tag?, its just all sad, like really sad, like there is nothing happy in this story, or at least I think it's sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:33:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25555888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_Pizzaman666/pseuds/the_Pizzaman666
Summary: Love is a weird thing. Castiel has seen countless nations rise and fall, seen billions of people die in what to him is just the blink of an eye. He’s seen millions of people getting killed by their own kind. He’s seen thousands and thousands of people die from just one person, each of the deaths covering their hands with blood and leaving a stain on their soul that could never be washed off. Castiel himself has killed just as many by the touch of a finger tip. He’s seen all of this, and yet he’s never given it much thought before now. Before he had to face death firsthand.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Implied dean cas
Comments: 9
Kudos: 19





	The Price of Immortality

**Author's Note:**

> Heed the tags. Don't like don't read, but if you do read prepare to be sad.

Love is a weird thing. Castiel has seen countless nations rise and fall, seen billions of people die in what to him is just the blink of an eye. He’s seen millions of people getting killed by their own kind. He’s seen thousands and thousands of people die from just one person, each of the deaths covering their hands with blood and leaving a stain on their soul that could never be washed off. Castiel himself has killed just as many by the touch of a finger tip. He’s seen all of this, and yet he’s never given it much thought before now. Before he had to face death firsthand.

Castiel has always seen deaths as something below him. To him death was a weakness, an imperfection in God's prized collection. Humans lived out their short little lives, however insignificant they may be, and then they were handed into heavens care. To him their lives were meaningless, as one can leave nothing more than a dot in the grand scheme of things (or so he thought at the time.) 

Castiel was always a loyal servant of God. Never did he disobey an order and nor did he ever consider it. He did as he was told without the blink of an eye, even when he was ordered to kill. This was until he rescued the holy man from perdition and started to see the fault in his ways. Castiel learned to fight for man, not because he cared for mankind, but because he cared for a man and he believed it was the right thing to do, so Castiel believed him. Castiel became Cas. and willingly gave up everything for this man just because he asked. He fought against his brothers and sisters, his only family, just to save another family. He laid his life down for them more times then he could count, and even actually died for them on multiple occasions. Cas lost everything, but gained something in the process. He gained a true family, one that actually cared for him, and eventually he even gained love. 

. . .

Cas stands next to three unmarked graves. The sky above is gray and rain falls down on his face. It was a sight to behold, an angel mourning the lives of two measly humans, but to Cas they weren’t just humans. To Cas they were his family who he would give anything for. He’d even give up his own life if it meant that they could keep theirs. If only that was possible. 

But instead the saviors of humanity were gone, with no one to remember them except the hunters who heard about what they’ve done and the people who they’ve saved, both of which were already long gone by now. Now the only things to remember them by are three unmarked graves which don’t even have bodys in them, the 1967 Chevy Impala that Cas still keeps and uses his remaining grace to fix, and an empty shell of an angel who mourns they’re death more and more with every passing day but stays alive to keep their memory.

Cas kneels down and places yellow flowers on Sam’s and Jack’s grave and a single rose on Deans. Sam was fifty when it was his time to go. He had died thirty years before death finally came for Dean. Sam was at home with his wife Eileen and his daughter Charlie, named after the Winchesters friend who had died in what felt like forever ago. It was a vampire attack that finally took the younger Winchester down for good. Sam didn’t get the ending he wanted. He didn’t go out in a blaze of glory or died so his family could make it out and survive. The attack was unexpected and in the end they all died together, not even twenty minutes apart. The saved Sam for last, basking in the glory of being the demise of one of the infamous Winchesters.

The death of his brother had taken its toll on Dean. When he heard about the death Dean denied it, believing that Sam would come back like they always had in the past. Even after they burned Sam's body he still believed that one day Sam would appear on his doorstep once again, alive and well. As the months past Dean kept telling himself this.

“He’s okay. He’s just gonna come back again. It’s going to be fine,” Dean said, trying to convince himself more than anyone else. But this time everything wasn’t going to be fine and even Dean, as stubborn as he may be, eventually had to accept that he was dead. 

The elder Winchester mourned over a computer and a bottle, trying to find any way to bring Sam back, each attempt ending up at a dead end. He drowned himself in hunting and alcohol, chasing away everyone in the process. Everyone except Cas. Cas stayed by his side through all of it, unable to do anything else. He would follow Dean to the end of the world if it meant that he would feel better, but Cas knew that that wasn’t how it worked. So instead he mourned with Dean as he broke into a million pieces, and when Dean was ready Cas was there to pick the pieces back up.

Cas sets a beer down on Deans grave along with the rose. Dean had always said that his heaven better have beer. That was just how Dean was, unable to be serious even about something like his own death. Cas was certain that that's where Dean went, heaven. Cas had tried everything to go see Dean who was not in heaven's care, but never succeeded. Each time he was stopped at the gates by the new angels Jack had created, each one saying that Cas couldn’t enter as he would try to get Dean out.

Jack had died not too long after Dean had. He died when he used too much of his power to save millions of people from an attack, leaving him too weak to defend himself. He died a death worthy of the Winchesters, his final moments used to save others. Jack ended up going to the Nothing, saving Cas from going there before his time. In the end Jack was a hero. 

Cas gave Jack the hunters funeral that he deserved, the first one that Cas had to do by himself. Every other funeral he’s always been to there had been someone else by his side watching the fire burn with him. Now there was no one else to stand beside him as all of his family was finally gone. After Jack's funeral Cas made a wooden cross to sit next to Deans, having earned the title of a Winchester. 

Cas stands in front of the middle grave with the single rose and beer on it. He looks down at the grave and remembers. He remembers the bunker that he had called home for so long.The bunker was now long deserted . They never returned after Sam’s death, as the memories hurt too much.

He remembers how he and Dean had lived a life on the road until Dean was too old to live like that, only then did he finally settle down. He and Cas had found a little cabin outside of the woods somewhere. It was no longer their turn to save the world. They still went on the occasional hunts together, but not as much as before. 

He remembers how he and Dean kept saving as many people as they could until Dean was too weak to continue. They did their job until Dean had a head of gray hair and wrinkles under his eyes. It was only when Dean had almost died from a shifter after making too many accidents that they realized it was time to pack up their bags and call it a day. Dean took it rough as it was all he’s ever known but he and Cas made it work. Cas soaked up everything he could get while he still had the option to, knowing that eventually it would be Dean’s turn to see Death.

He remembers how Dean finally died. At that point Dean was bed ridden and could only move around with Cas’s help. Dean had requested for Cas to take him outside on the porch so he could enjoy the sun. Cas set Dean down on the old swinging bench that has been there since they moved in. 

Dean leaned against Cas for support as Cas held his hand and ran his fingers through Deans white locks. Even after all the time and even as Dean grew old Cas still loved Dean all the same. His holy man whose soul shined brighter than anyone’s he's ever seen. Cas would stay by his side all the way until Dean's fastly approaching end.

They sat on the bench in silence, basking in one another's presence. They both knew the end was coming and both wanted to make the most of the few minutes they had left. Instead of crying over the inevitable they both sat there for the last time hand in hand watching the wind in the trees and the birds dance in the sky. Things were peaceful, if only for a minute.

As Dean's breath started to slow they both still sat there like that. Neither of them cried as that would mean that it was finally over. All that they did was lean further into one another's arms. Deans smiled from inside Cas’s warm embrace even though he knew what was coming next.

As breath started to slip away from Dean he used the last of his strength to whisper something into Cas’s ear.

“I love you,” is all he said. It was all he needed to say. Cas held onto Dean through all of this as Dean took his last breaths. And when Billy finally arrived and claimed Deans soul Cas dropped to the ground with Dean's dead body in his arms.

With that Cas sobbed out a broken cry loud enough for all the angels in heaven to hear, “Dean Winchester is Dead!”

Cas stands next to three unmarked graves, tears running freely down his face just to get washed away by the rain. He kneels in front of them and does something he hasn’t done in a very long time, he prays. He prays to anyone who will listen. He prays to have a message passed.

“I know you all hate me and I know you have good reason to. I’ve done a lot of bad in my existence,” he prays. “I know all of that, but I really need a message passed. If not for me, do it for the one who gave everything up for the sake of others. Do it for Dean.”

“Please give him this message.”

“Tell him that I’m sorry and that I tried. Tell him that I would give up my life if it meant he could keep his. Tell him that I miss him” 

“Jesus Dean I miss you! I know it wasn’t your choice, but I miss you so much. It’s hard to live everyday without you by my side, even after all this time. I know that you know that I’m still not over you, and the truth is that I’m really not and I don’t think that I ever will. But I want you to not worry about me anymore.”

“I’m going to leave you alone now. I know it’s doing neither of us any good for me to try to hold onto you, so I’m not going to anymore. I’ll leave you alone now. I’ll never be able to truly get over you but I’m not going to try to break into heaven anymore and I’m not going to mourn over your grave. I want you to finally be at peace Dean and I know you will never truly be able to until I give you up. So here I am saying goodbye.”

Cas stands up off the ground and dusts his pants off and turns away from the grave. Before he leaves for good he remembers something and faces the grave once more. He takes the dusty old coat off his shoulders, the same coat that he got so long ago, and lays it over the grave.

“I really hope you get this Dean. I love you,” and with that Cas walks away for good.

Love is a weird thing. Cas has always known how this would all turn out in the end but yet he decided to go down this path anyways, and if he could go back in time he would make the same decision over and over again. Because that's the thing, having Dean in his life for whatever short amount of time is worth more than all the eternities he’s spent alone. 

Cas knew that eventually he would forget Dean. He knows that within the eternities to come Dean would start to fade away into a little less than a blur. But that's the thing, Cas has always known the cost of being human, the inevitable end that is closer everyday, but it wasn’t until now that Cas truly learned the price of immortality. 

. . .


End file.
